Back to Earth
| So much for feeling good about myself. We're still working on Songahm 2 and roundhouse kicks. While I thought I was doing well the previous night, I felt like a complete ass last night. My whole self-image thing is a HUGE obstacle, and trying to kick and move like I did 15 years ago isn't helping much. The problem is that I honestly don't know how to slow down, or to do things like a beginner. I have to learn. Next class is Tuesday or Wednesday. After last night I think a night off in between classes wouldn't hurt. |
posted by Chris at 11:14 AM
Comments on "Back to Earth"
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Unknown said ... (7:22 PM) :
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Chris said ... (12:11 PM) :
post a commentBelieve me, I feel your pain, self-esteem pain, I truly do. I danced for 20 years, but in the meantime have put on WAY too much weight (still have the hourglass figure, but it's deceiving knowing how much weight I actually have packed on), and over time and aging (I'll be 38 next month), I have bad knees, bad back, and exercise induced asthma. I had all this 20 years ago too, but not to the extent that I have it now. There are some elements that I show that I have it, such as some better flexibility than most adults who start (thanks to ballet), and better balance (despite the weight), but OH, to see a lot of people catch on faster than me, both in movement and remembering the steps to the form--ugh, it's nerve wracking. When I started last fall, I started with Songham #2 as well, and I was very intimidated. By the time I circled back to Songham #1 (I think I did #3, then back to #1), it was REALLY easy, but more was expected of me to get hand-foot timing down better,etc. The issue I have right now, which is very similar to yours. When I moved up to camo belt, the higher color belts were doing the purple form, which is two belts higher than what I normally would have been doing if I had gone in order. Even now, I am a purple belt now, but I'm doing the brown belt form, and parts of it are just smacking me down big time, and this is especially in light that I'm trying to cram the form before a regional tournament at the end of this month. So, just remember, it's only been about a week or two. Check my early posts when I started. I really wondered what I had gotten myself into. (I still think that way, now that I'm an instructor trainee and in Leadership. What was I thinking?) But there is no rush, and that's part of what I like about this. Your instructor will not give permission to test if he/she doesn't think you are ready. And if your instructor is anything like mine (and I just found out that she is ranked #4 in the world for 4th degree BB women in the 40-49 range), he/she will know what you are capable of before you get to testing, so they will know that if you choke due to nerves, they won't totally hold it against you. You'll be fine. ;-) And yes, breaks DO help. I took my break tonight, then I'll go for 2 hrs. tomorrow for specialization classes, and then won't go back until Wednesday. Breaks are good.
Thanks for the comment, Winds..it's just what I needed.